To The Different Colored Men I’ve Loved

So, this is my first published piece and it feels amazing! But, the title has been changed. Boo…

Thought Catalog

To all the white boys I’ve loved, I’ve loved you from afar staring at your luminescent faces on the big screen, imagining that it was me you ran to into the rain. Imagining  it was me you were picking up, kissing until your mouth hurt, hands on bodies so thin and nimble, doing just what they knew felt right. Believing it was me that you would kill for, me that you’d risk your life for because I was the “love of your life”

I’ve loved you from the way you walked with confidence and the assurance that your personhood, your masculinity would never be questioned. I loved the way your hair always looked perfect and your clothes always fit and you never worried about where your next meal was coming from because you had a full time job with a pension and health insurance and you could afford weekend brunches and holidays to exotic places. I loved you despite the fact that I never knew…

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